Archive for July 6th, 2010


Network addresses are so passe

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I’m glad President Obama is trying to cross over from his usual medium. The guy was getting hemmed in by sticking to traditional “video” and “audio.” Those definitions are so outdated and restrictive.

People are saying this new direction is so-called “avant garde,” but that’s hardly the case. Obama is a big follower of the innovators in the public address genre and if you’re in the know, all the usual influences are pretty obvious. Personally, I think it’s OK since he’s more of an homage type than a rip-off. Even so, he could probably stand to give some more direct props. Regardless, here’s a summary in the man’s own words, from the nation’s finest news source:

“My work speaks for itself,” Obama said as he applied blackface makeup to prepare for the shooting of a new video called Ask/Tell/Die. “I can’t tell the people of our great nation what to think or how to react. That’s up to the viewer. All I’m looking for is an honest reaction— something that shocks the bourgeoisie out of its mind-numbing, plastic complacency for once and causes them to sit up and scream from the depths of their rotting bowels, ‘Ahhhhh! Who are we and what is the nature of our existence?! We are like cockroaches marching into a bowl of spoiled milk to drown! We are all drowning!'”

Tell it how it is, Mr. President. Tell it how it is.


Tuesday Tan Threat Level: Part 1

First and foremost: thank all that is good in the cosmos and fates that the sun has decided to show up. We were seriously getting worried. Step one was find a hot rock to beach on. Step two? Aha, that, my friend, is to develop a tan to be reckoned with. And no, we’re not talking the Jacked and Tan social network (if only this didn’t actually exist…).

So that’s why, now that we actually have some sun, we’re going to help you get brown with our weekly tanning assessment, the Tuesday Tan Threat Level. Every Tuesday, two of the Bus’s key peoples, Sera and Peter, will be recording their weekly tan levels, which should prove both comedic and provide a light-hearted moment in the fluorescent work week of yore.

Simple, yes? Let’s kick this thing off. Drumroll please… it’s week one!

Repping the ladies, here’s Sera:

And for the gents, your inevitably, stereotypically pasty and bespectacled blogger Peter:

Tan on, you worthy competitors you, tan on.