You might have heard about the recent news about mustaches. You know, how they enhance your power and prestige. And in a recent interview with Hella Bus, mustachioed sex symbol Burt Reynolds credited his magnificent facial hair for the vast majority of his considerable achievements, such as Deliverance, Boogie Nights and Smokey and the Bandit Part 3.
When we sat down at Bus HQ, Reynolds was wearing the sort of classy attire you could find him showing off in the late 70s: jeans, jean shirt, jean jacket, jean tie(?). The man knows how to wear a (Canadian) tuxedo.
Here’s a few selections from the interview:
Thanks for sitting down with us, Burt.
So you’re an eminently successful movie star.
I am. I also am notably handsome.
And you’ve been in the biz for a few years, so you must have a few ideas about why you’ve made it so big.
Yeah, it’s true. I think it’s my mustache.
Really? Facial hair has that sort of effect?
Sure does. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been propositioned by men and women who were intrigued by my mustache.
Uh… cool. I really wanted to know that. But the mustache has an affect on your business dealings too?
Yeah. If my representatives are having trouble getting my quote from a producer, they take me along to a face-to-face.
So you can show off your mustache?
Yeah. I just stroke it lovingly and glare at the producer. They usually exceed my quote at that point.
You’d think they’d just give you the quote up front then.
That’s what it’d seem like, but they gave me the quote no questions asked for the version of The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler and we all know how that went.
Oof. That’s a good point.
Yep. It’d have gone a lot better if the kid had grown a mustache like I’d said he should.
You think Adam Sandler in a mustache would have made The Longest Yard a good movie?
Ask it again.
You think Adam Sandler in a mustache… oh, man, that’s hilarious
Great talking to you, Burt.
You too. This is a great organization you got going here.
A real class act. I should mention that even though Reynolds is like the general population of mustache-wearers mentioned above in that he earns more money and gets more respect than the barefaced, he also blames it for the “painful” handsomeness he has had to endure for more than fifty years as a movie star. You feel for the guy.