Posts Tagged ‘Hella news


Burt Reynolds: the man behind the mustache

So dreamy.

You might have heard about the recent news about mustaches. You know, how they enhance your power and prestige. And in a recent interview with Hella Bus, mustachioed sex symbol Burt Reynolds credited his magnificent facial hair for the vast majority of his considerable achievements, such as Deliverance, Boogie Nights and Smokey and the Bandit Part 3.

When we sat down at Bus HQ, Reynolds was wearing the sort of classy attire you could find him showing off in the late 70s: jeans, jean shirt, jean jacket, jean tie(?). The man knows how to wear a (Canadian) tuxedo.

Here’s a few selections from the interview:

Thanks for sitting down with us, Burt.

No problem.

So you’re an eminently successful movie star.

I am. I also am notably handsome.

And you’ve been in the biz for a few years, so you must have a few ideas about why you’ve made it so big.

Yeah, it’s true. I think it’s my mustache.

Really? Facial hair has that sort of effect?

Sure does. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been propositioned by men and women who were intrigued by my mustache.

Uh… cool. I really wanted to know that. But the mustache has an affect on your business dealings too?

Yeah. If my representatives are having trouble getting my quote from a producer, they take me along to a face-to-face.

So you can show off your mustache?

Yeah. I just stroke it lovingly and glare at the producer. They usually exceed my quote at that point.

You’d think they’d just give you the quote up front then.

That’s what it’d seem like, but they gave me the quote no questions asked for the version of The Longest Yard with Adam Sandler and we all know how that went.

Oof. That’s a good point.

Yep. It’d have gone a lot better if the kid had grown a mustache like I’d said he should.

You think Adam Sandler in a mustache would have made The Longest Yard a good movie?

Ask it again.

You think Adam Sandler in a mustache… oh, man, that’s hilarious


Great talking to you, Burt.

You too. This is a great organization you got going here.

A real class act. I should mention that even though Reynolds is like the general population of mustache-wearers mentioned above in that he earns more money and gets more respect than the barefaced, he also blames it for the “painful” handsomeness he has had to endure for more than fifty years as a movie star. You feel for the guy.


Block Party Rap Up!!

no shirt, no shoes, but we do pledge to vote

Three Days, Eighty-two bands, and one Washington Bus! We made some music, made some money, and some of us found models for wives. Its a new year (on Capitol Hill) and I’m glad to be here. Let us push the button and start the show, parties don’t stop and parties don’t care….this is not not a stick-up but we got our hands in the air!!

And yes, those are all lyrics from Block Party bands – points if you can name them in the comments! But we digress, on to the fashion…

Continue reading ‘Block Party Rap Up!!’


Food on Wheels

I love my German sausages fresh out of a van

Don’t you love it when you can get your enchiladas and fresh guacamole right out of the back of a van equipped with a mega stove and the cooking capacity of a small restaurant?

I do, and apparently so does the mayor, because within a few weeks his office will propose rules to make street vending- like food trucks- easier to set up.

Although Seattleites and visitors love this proposed deal, restaurant owners are not too happy about the idea. It’s to bad for them, because this post is about the awesomeness that is the glowing orb of the food truck, not the competitors.

While visiting our flannel-heavy and shaving-light southern friends in Portland I had the food truck experience of a lifetime. More pictures after the jump- no salivating on your keyboard please. Continue reading ‘Food on Wheels’


Clint Didier: en fuego

uncle rico?

Republican Senate candidate Clint Didier is having a good month, folks. The brawny Connell resident won $10,000 on the slots at the Emerald Queen picked up national endorsements that are sure to delight his conservative base.

Didier, who, like Burt Reynolds, knows the indomitable power of the mustache, picked up the endorsements of libertarian idol Rep. Ron Paul and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, whom you may have heard of.

Those endorsements should further legitimize the former Redskins tight end as the Tea Party candidate in the Republican segment of the primary. Dino Rossi, the “mainstream” Republican, has to be looking over his shoulder.

That’s because, unless he doesn’t read the newspaper (or Interblogs), he knows that conservatives that make conservatives look progressive have won major races around the country. Consider the case of Marco Rubio, a Tea Celebrator who beat out an incumbent governor, Charlie Crist, in the Republican primary for a Florida Senate seat. Or Sharron Angle, who beat more moderate Republicans to win the privilege to challenge Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid for his seat in the upper chamber.

Rossi is very much the frontrunner due to his previous experience running statewide campaigns, his national party favorite status, his fundraising abilities, and fawning press coverage, which never hurts. Though Rossi still claims to be running his primary campaign against Patty Murray, (technically he is because of our open non-partisan primary, but whatever) instead of his actual primary opponent, the would-be Governor Senator has to be worrying just a little bit more of the time about his right flank, as the Tea Revelers will be going for the other guy and not him.


Some things we might or might not want you to vote for (and one thing we do want you to vote for)

How did he get Park Place AND Boardwalk?

We know that you, like all of us here at Hella Bus, were camped outside the Secretary of State’s office last Friday for the Official Handing In of Signatures for Ballot Initiatives 2010. We know because we saw you there (those were great Facebook photos!).

All right, all right. We were the only ones there. But you all really missed out. Not only did we get to find out what initiatives made it before anyone else, we also got to play Monopoly with Sam Reed. Score!

After that, we skipped town before Secretary Sam “Sizzle” (this is how he prefers to be addressed) could get us to count and verify signatures. We’re lame like that. We’d never offer to help clean up when you have us over for dinner.

Anyhow, here’s what made the cut, with helpful commentary(!):

  • Initiative 1107: Rollback of tax on soda, candy, etc. These folks are the parents you always wanted- you know, the ones who would give you Snickers soaked in Dr. Pepper whenever you asked for it.
  • Initiative 1053: Eyman’s newest effort- requires 2/3 vote by Legislature to raise taxes. Tim Eyman does not like taxes.
  • Initiatives 1105 and 1100: Both would, through different means, privatize the State’s liquor store monopoly. These campaigns celebrated by teetotaling.
  • Initiative 1082: BIAW-bankrolled effort to privatize the state’s worker-compensation fund. Would I get more sick days?
  • Initiative 1098: Bus-endorsed measure that would create an income tax on high earners and cut taxes for the middle class. The Bus is reconsidering the whole support thing, because we found out naked people like it. Eww.

That was fun. Direct democracy is exhausting, isn’t it? Back we go to pasting pictures of Joe Fitzgibbon* on the walls of Bus HQ…

*It’s not creepy, just loving


Why campaign “process” articles are silly part 4,280

The entire reason for this post is to make sure that this super-flattering picture of Blanche Lincoln continues to be featured prominently on the Internet

Political reporters are SHADY!

If y’all read my posts obsessively (God knows you should) you might notice some of my subtle themes. One of those is my disdain for election “process”/”horse race” stories. Those stories don’t tell you anything more than gossip. Or meaningless statistics. Take it away, uh, Politico,* worldwide leader in process stories:

(*My position on process stories is incredibly hypocritical because I read Politico incessantly. I can’t help it, OK?! I gotta feed the monkey!)

In the final weeks leading up to the June 8 Democratic Senate runoff in Arkansas, no data proved more pivotal in shaping conventional wisdom than a pair of Research 2000 polls showing challenger Bill Halter holding a lead.

And those surveys—which fueled the narrative that Sen.Blanche Lincoln was a goner—may have been bogus, according to the blog that commissioned them.

…In late May and early June, Research 2000 surveys show[ed] Halter in the lead over the vulnerable incumbent, [Lincoln, which] helped stoke a media frenzy. The polls were cited by nearly every media outlet covering the race – from POLITICO and MSNBC to Reuters and the Arkansas Times.The data single-handedly catapulted Halter – who trailed Lincoln by three points after the May 18 primary– from insurgent to perceived frontrunner, which in turn helped advance a sky-is-falling, anti-incumbent narrative in the print and broadcast media.

What happened was the way this here poll was perceived by analysts colored the perception of the media which colored the perception of the politicos running the race despite the fact that they had a different (and, I daresay, more accurate) perception of the actual conditions of the race. Got all that?

Continue reading ‘Why campaign “process” articles are silly part 4,280’


Doe v. Reed: BFD (in the Joe Biden sense)

Another R-71 victory (thanks P-I for the photo)

Good news from the Supes! Not the SuperSonics- they don’t exist anymore– but the Supreme Court. The Bus has beefed with this version of the Supremes (and not only because Diana Ross is no longer a member), but they definitely got this ruling right.

This ruling, the decision of Doe v. Reed, declares that the signatures required to get an initiative on the ballot should be included in the public record. The Bus is all about transparency and openness- our beef with the Supes came when they messed up on those lines (don’t worry, though; we’re all about the judicial system- we don’t shoot guns). The case emerged in our own great state and made its way to the Other Washington to contribute positively to Our Great Nation’s jurisprudence.

Props to AG McKenna for a case well-argued. High fives for everybody. Here’s s’more (you’re killing me Smalls!) articles if you’re interested: